My Choice Is You
by Oh SqueegeeMan
Summary: Bella picks Jacob! R&R. I hope you like.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay. This is my first Twilight fic. I don't really know how good it'll be. And I don't really know where I'm going yet with it. I'm just writing w/e comes to me. Hope you like it. R&R.**

I felt his eyes burn the back of my neck as I turned away. He'd said the three words before, but this time, it was different. This time, instead of it being a statment, it sounded more like a depsperate cry.. a plead even. It was so far away from how it normally sounded, I had no idea how to even begin to react.

But of course, I had to tell him I didn't feel the same way. I told him before, but this time just seemed so much harder. Slowly, I sighed, "Jacob.."

"Bella!" he cride before I could go on. "Please.."

My head fell down and I stared at the floor. I imagined being away from here, away from this moment, with Edward, his arms wrapped around me. If it was him saying 'I love you', this wouldn't have to be so hard. But it was Jacob, my best friend. _Just _best friend.

"I love Edward and there will never be anything between us." After I said it, it sounded a little more harsh then it was ment to be. Quickly, I turned to see Jacob's expression, to see if I really hurt him. And of course, I had. "Jacob," I sighed reaching for his arm.

"Don't," he groaned and pulled away from me. "I should go home. Call Edward. Tell him to pick you up at the boundry line. I'll make sure Quil gets you there safely." Jacob's voice didn't seem as demanding as it normally was. It was soft, almost so quiet I couldn't here. "Bye," he said, and and walked away.

"Jacob!" I called, not wanting to leave when neither of us were happy. "Can't we just hang out or something?"

"I can't hang out with you anymore Bella," he groaned not stopping.

He couldn't mean that.. Could he? I mean, he'd said stuff like that before, but still, this conversation seemed different than any we'd had before, even about the same subject. "Can we talk at least?" I questioned, still hoping this wasn't the end of our friendship.

"Bella!" he yelled. "Don't you understand? I can't be around you. I can't hang out with you. I can't talk to you. I can't have anything to do with you!" Jacob's steps got faster as he stomped away.

As fast as I could, I ran after him, even though it didn't matter much. Jacob would always be faster than me. "Why not?" I yelled back at him hoping he would stop.

Imediatley, he stopped making me almost run into him. "Are you seriously asking me that Bella?" he turned and stared into my eyes. Small tears began to flow from his dark eyes as I stared at him blankly not knowing what to do. "Bella, everytime I talk to you, everytime I hang out with you, everytime I even see you, I love you more than I already do. You don't understand what it feels like to love someone more than anything else in the world, and have them not love you back. I mean, all I do is smile when I'm around you and when I think about you, but when you leave, I know you're going to see him.. Because you love him.. And I don't think I can handle it anymore. I don't think I can handle anything anymore.."

I looked down at my feet ashamed and not being able to stare into his eyes any longer. They were so full of anger and sadness. "I'm sorry.." was all I could manage to say. If he wouldn't have stomped away again, I would've tried harder to think of something, but before I could, he was gone.

My eyes began to fill with water as I walked away, thinking that this time Jacob was serious. I found myself acually crying my eyes out when I heard my name being called. It was Quil. Jacob had told him to take me home, and I guess that's what he was doing. So, I got into his truck silently.

Quil tried, with no success to make me laugh, but all I could do was think about Jacob and wonder if it really was the end. I hoped more than anything it wasn't. I mean, Jacob really got me angry sometimes, but he was the only one that was there for me when I needed someone, the only one who really seemed to care. And I cared about him too. I loved him too.. But I loved Edward more.

* * *

"Bell, love," Edward whisperd in my ear as he held me tight. "It'll be okay," he promised. But I knew it wouldn't. 

I layed there with his arms wraped around me thinking about Jacob. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was bad, and I knew nothing good could've came from it, but I didn't anyways. I couldn't help. After all, he was the one in my mind on those rare ocassions I wasn't thinking of Edward.

"Bella, I love you." Edward spoke soft, once again trying to comfort me and slow the sobbings. As much as I loved hearing those words coming from his mouth, this time it didn't help much. I mean, it was those words, and him saying them, that made me feel this way. Those words from him were true and when I said it back they were true. And that's what was so hard. If he didn't love me, and if I didn't love him, Jacob wouldn't be in so much pain.. But the words were true, and Jacob was in tons of pain.

"Um.. Bella. You have a visitor," Edward told me. And a second later the door bell rang.

"Who is it?" I asked, trying to stop the sniffles.

"The dog," Edward groaned in an attempt to make him sounds bad. But it wasn't bad. I was so happy he was here.

I shot up quickly, my face glowing with excitement and hope that he was here to apologize. Immediately, I saw Edward's reaction to my happieness before he could change his expression. He was hurt that I was so happy to have the person that just made me cry my eyes out here in my house. I felt guilty. "Edward.." I sighed. "I love you," and once again, the words were true, which made me feel even more guilt, but not for Edward, for Jacob.

"Bells!" I heard Charlie call from downstairs.

I looked into Edward's eyes to see if he was still hurt. He shot me smile. "I love you too." Then he softly kissed my lips and it made my butterflys flap in my stomach. But then, having that feeling, came with more guilt.

* * *

"Jacob!" I said with excitement when I reached him. 

"Geez Bella. Are you okay?" Charlie asked. He must've noticed my tear stained face.

"I'm fine," I lied the best I could. Thankfully, Charlie wasn't much of a good judge on my lying, and he left the conversation at end and went back to watching some game on television.

"Bella, can I talk to you? .._Outside," _he asked sniffing the air. Obviously he smelled Edward's scent.

I shook my head "yes". I didn't care where we talked, as long as we did talk, as long as we solved this problem.

"Okay, this is how it is," Jacob began. It sounded like the begining of more pain, instead of a resolution. "I know I said I didn't want to talk to you again, well, I lied."

I smiled came to my face at that moment. "I'm glad you decided not to end our realtionship, Jake. You know how much you mean to me."

"See Bella, that's the thing. I still don't want anything to do with you... After this." My smile shot away and I felt water building up in my eyes again. I tried my best to hold them back, but once he went on, they poured out. "I just want to make one thing clear, before I go. I want to let you know, that you still have a chance. Right now is your chance Bella."

"Chance for what?" I asked confused through my sobs.

"A chance to be with me. Don't you understand? I love you more than you can possibly imagine, and right now, you can be with me. Just be _with me, _Bella. That's all I'm asking for. Just you.."

"Jacob!" I scolded louder than I ment to. "Jacob," I began again, quieter. Having Charlie come out wouldn't make the situation any easier. "It's not that easy. You can just come here and make me pick between you and Edward."

"Well, I think you just did.." He sighed and turned to walk away.

"No! Jacob! You can't leave. You can't!" I pleaded. But he kept walking and each step hurt worse than the first. I couldn't let him just walk out of my life, not like this. "Fine Jacob," I said in almost a whisper, as if I didn't want him to hear.

But he stoped, and when he did, I winced thinking about the words that were going to come out of my mouth. "Jake," I said softly. "My choice... My choice is you."

Jacob turned and stared at me with his smile, the smile that I loved to see. And for a second, I was happy.

**So, Like it? I hope so. Reveiw please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, Um, Bella has to tell Edward now!! Are you excited? You should be.. Are you ready? ..Cuz I'ma start now. Ready? Okay.. Here I go..**

But what happens next? How do I even begin to tell Edward? Well, he must know already. He couldn't ignore Jacob's screaming thoughts."Let me go talk to Edward," I said softly to Jacob, tears still flowing down my face.

"I told the bloodsucker already," Jacob snarled back. He was going to make this as difficult as possible, wasn't he?

I threw my head down. "Jacob," I pleaded. "I need to talk to him. I'll be down in a minute. Please don't leave. Please.."

He sighed heavily. "Go.." he groaned. And I was gone.

It was a short way to my room. Just up the stairs and down the hallway. That wasn't enough time to think, to clear my head and figure out what I was going to say or how I was even going to begin to explain. I stopped at the door. I knew Edward knew I was right there, but I just stood there, procrastinating and wishing the situation was so different.

My breathing was heavy with guilt for Edward, knowing that I was about to do something that I would regret for the rest of my life. I was about to end the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was going to give up Edward.. My Edward, the one I loved more than anything in the world.

"Bella, I know you're out there," I heard him say, unable to hide the pain in his voice. I guess I had been out there longer than I had thought.

Silently, I slid my door open and stood in the doorway looking down, unable to look into his eyes, and still procrastinating. "So, how are you?" I asked at a lame attempt to leave the conversation off longer. How could I even ask someting like that? I knew how he was feeling. He almost killed himself because he was going to loose me... and I almost did when I lost him. I knew exactly how he was feeling.

"Bella, you don't have to explain anything. Just go. I'll leave. You don't have to worry about me anymore," he said. I felt his eyes on me, but still, I couldn't look up. I was too ashamed.

"No. I want to be with you Edward. Please, don't leave," I said truthfully, pleading.

"That's not what you told Jacob, Bella.." he paused as if he was thinking deeply.. or listening. "He's getting annoyed that I'm still here and you're not out there with him." Edward's voice was hard and rough. You could hear the angst in his voice, and the agony. I almost collapsed right there.

"I don't want to go out there," I sighed, telling the truth again. I wanted to stay there with Edward. I wanted times to go back to how they were before, before I even met Jacob, when it was just me and Edward. Not me and Edward and everyone else.

"I should go," Edward repeated. "Bye Bella." And for the first time, I looked up straight into his eyes. I had never seen his face like this before. It was so hard; harder than I'd ever seen it before. But even though it was so tough, I could still see the pain in his eyes. He couldn't hide that from me no matter how hard he tried. His eyes were now trapped on mine and I couldn't shake them. I couldn't shake the pain away that they showed. "Bye," he said again, and in a second, he was gone.

But it wasn't only him that left that night. I left too. Every part of my body that loved him was gone, which was pretty much my whole body. But still, I was alive. My heart was still beating although I felt emptier than I had before.

When Edward left before, it was the hardest thing possible. Every morning I woke up with that pain in my chest where my heart used to be, where Edward used to be. It was the place that I held all my love for him, and although I still loved him, all of that love was gone because it seemed he had taken it with him when he did not love me back. It hurt so bad.

But there was no way that it was as bad as it was at this moment. This was my fault. I was controling all of this. I was telling him to leave. I was ruining everything that we ever built. I was dying.

Then a hand on my shoulder made me jump. I filled with relief when I realized that it was only Charlie and not Jacob. I didn't know if I could have handled seeing him. "Oh my god, Bella. Are you alright?" he was concerned, he was a good dad. But then his voice changed as he looked around the room. "What did he do this time?" and his voice got louder. "I'm going to kill that asshole! Where is he?!" he roared.

I closed my eyes hoping this would all go away, but when I opened them, the nightmare was still there. "Dad, please," I cried, pushing him away a bit. He was instantly hesitant, not knowing what I was going to do, but he drifted away.

"Jacob is outside," he said right before he existed my room. I winced at his name.

Now I was supposed to go down there, go be with Jacob and act like everything was okay. How was I supposed to do that? I couldn't even bare to hear his name, How was I supposed to look at him and let him hold me and try to comfort me, especially when I knew that I had made a mistake? This was all turning out so wrong. Everything was a disaster.

I slowly walked down the stairs, knowing that this is what I was obligated to do, even if I really didn't want to. When I opened the door, Jacob stood there like a deer caught in headlights. If he was shocked that I had made this decision, he had no idea how I was feeling. "Bella," he said walking towards me, "Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

Then I flipped. I found myself throwing my fists and arms and kicking Jacob even though the pain was incredible. He was like a rock and I knew that I could never even start to hurt him. He simply pulled stepped back and I threw myself at him. I didn't care about the pain. I was too pissed. But then he put his hands up and grabbed my wrists so I would stop. I tried to kick him, but it wasn't easy, so I just collapsed in his arms, letting him hold me.

The rest of the night was a blur. I mean, why would I even try? If Edward wasn't going to be a part of my future, then why would I want to be? I didn't. It was as simple as that. So I let Jacob carry me up to my bedroom in his arms. I think that Charlie asked if he should carry me instead, but there was no way he would've been able to get me up the stairs.

Jacob softly rested me on my bed. I closed my eyes, and pretended to be asleep, although I had been told I was no good at that... by Edward. I would've winced at his name, but I was trying my best not to show Jacob I was awake. I just wanted him to leave me alone, so I could break down all by myself and not pretend to love him.

But he didn't leave right away. He sat there, on my bed, and began stroking my hair. I silently cursed myself for feeling comforted by his touch. Why was it like that? I hated him so much right now. After all, all of this was his fault. But still, his touch sent tingles through my body.

I turned over with a sleepy sigh to side. It was more comfortable this way, and there was a less chance of him touching me. I started to fakely snore the best I could, but I didn't know if Jake thought it was real.

"Bella," he said softly, laying back on my bed, but not touching me anymore. "I'm sorry," he went on. He must've not thought I was sleeping, if he was talking to me, but I didn't make a sound. I wasn't in the mood to speak to him, and my arms were throbbing from hitting him.

He took one big deep breathe and went on. "I'm so sorry. It's just, I love you so much. I know that that is hard to hear right now, but it's true. I'm going to let you be for a couple days and go back to La Push, but..." he paused. "Just... don't do anything stupid okay? If I lost you... well, let's just say, I couldn't handle it."

Then he stopped talking, and it was silent for a long time before he got up from my bed. I still said no words to him. I was much to busy crying. "I'll be back in three days," he said, and he was gone.

My heart stopped then, if you could even say I had a heart. Edward had taken most of it with him. Jacob had the rest. So, I clutched my chest, dying inside, but some how I kept breathing. I didn't want to, but I inhaled, and I exhaled, when I thought for sure that I could not.

I lay there and slowly became numb as my heart slowed and slowed. I found myself asleep then, somehow, and a sweet dream clouded my thoughts.

Edward was there his hand on mine. He looked at me, his eyes intense, red and sweet; he was thirsty. But I didn't care at all that I could be in danger. All I could think was that Edward wanted me, something that I had been missing for what seemed like so long.

I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. He thought he wanted me, but he had no idea how much I wanted him, so i pulled him tighter. I knew instantly that soon he would just pull away so I took advantage of the moment. I threw my lips onto his. They were strong, cold; everything that I wanted. His tongue traced my lips as mine did to his. The taste was incredible and I knew how intense I was getting. I kept pulling and pressing my body against his. I knew any minute he would pull away saying that this was all too dangerous.

But he didn't. And soon enough, we were throwing off our clothes. Everythign was going so fast. It was hot. It was incredible. Then his cold body was inside me and all my dreams were coming true. It was perfect. I had everything I ever wanted.

But all of a sudden, through the passion, his cold body turned hot and I found myself sweating. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he kissed mine. My fingers strung through his hair, and all of a sudden it seemed longer. I pulled away a little farther, to look into his eyes and see the passion.

But it took me a while to realize. This wasn't Edward. I stared into the eyes. They were nice eyes, but I couldn't place them. Then I looked a little deeper. I knew exactly who this was now, and I screamed as loud as I possibly could.

All of a sudden I awoke, Charlies arms around me holding me tight. "Isabella. Isabella! It's alright. I'm here now," he whispered. I clutched him tightly, silently thanking god it wasn't who was in my dream. "What is it, Bella? Was it a nightmare?" he asked, staring at me. It had been so long since I had had one, so I noticed the surprise on his face. "Tell me about it..." he said slowly, thinking that it would help.

I just held him tight, and whispered,"I don't want Jacob."


End file.
